Life is funny, it likes to play games with your head and then turn right back around and stab you in the back. You think since its your life and your the one controlling it, you won't get hurt or be lied to. Well that's just another lie. You let someone into your life after so much shit has already happened thinking that this time you won't get hurt. Wrong again. Not once during my collegiate career have i done something just for me. I went to SUU to get away from others who had just hurt me, when i got to SUU i joined Alpha Phi cause i thought i would find "true friends", no such thing. I tried really hard to get good grades and succeed, only to be shot down once again by the school which is supposed to be giving me a higher education. I thought I found someone who really meant something, i was just proved wrong once again. Now im alone in cedar again doing nothing with my life working for what?
I'm sick of being let down by everything that i think is a good opportunity for me. Now i'm back where i started not giving a shit about what happens. Well for once i'm doing what i want with my life how i want it because i said so. No more trying to make anyone else feel happy or making sure their okay. I can't please everyone so i'm making myself happy.
One thing i have always wanted to do was go and live in Italy, learn Italian, and just get away from it all. Well i'm doing it. I am applying for a study abroad to John Cabot University in Rome Italy, it would be an opportunity of a life time for me, and i could study and really get away from it all and travel just for me.
Next on my list is getting my tattoo i have always wanted, i stopped wanting it for someone else and thats not fair to myself. Going through everything all over again just makes more sense for me to get it and i want it so i'm doing it. " I'm selfish, impatient, and a little insecure, i make mistakes, i am out of control and at times hard to handle, but if you can't handle me at my worst then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best."
